I have been withholding this information so I could surprise my mom. This year the opening episode of chaos & kindness I helped my mom get a house. The episode won 2 Emmy’s, 1 for myself as a director and the other for Ryan as a producer. The real gift isn’t in the trophies, it’s in the act of kindness and progress that was made in the step to helping my mom. You see, my mom and I are opposites in so many ways, primarily in lifestyle choices. I have spent many moments on stages sharing my struggles as a youth, I have written in my book about the difficulties I felt my mom put me through, and that’s not what this post is going to be about. Instead I’m going to chose to focus on forgiveness, understanding, and trusting that the future will be better for my mom and I than the last has been. I know there are a lot of things my mother would go back and change if she could, as would many of us. There is a hurt inside that I have cradled for so long that it has shaped who I am and played a roll in many of traits I have today. Mom, I know you’re reading this, and I know it hurts you at times to feel like you have let me down, hurt me, or not provided a better situation for me growing up. Those days are gone, I am learning to forgive and to see you for who YOU are. While its not always easy, for me it’s becoming a better person because if I can learn to forgive those closest to me I can forgive anyone and love them in return. Now for the good stuff. Mom, it’s you who cheered me on more than anyone as I grew up wanting to be a rockstar. It is you who reaches out to me more than I do to you, and for that I’m sorry. Mom it is you who gave me life and raised me not perfectly but you loved me. I’m your only son and I know how much that means to you. Can I afford to buy you a place to live ? Yes. Was it easy for me to do ? No. It was a growth experience for me to put aside our differences and to embrace this one life we get to have and be sure I tried my hardest to understand and accept who YOU are. I gave my Emmy to my mom as a reminder that tomorrow is a new day, a new chance, a new opportunity to grow and love while we still can.